HOME
A young wife
without a hearth,
she fled the hills,
sisters, paltry sun,
treasures entrusted
to the stewardship of mist,
contentious drizzle, grief
slouch clouds. And though
each week in the Finchley flat
that was never home, mocked
by the tisk of a gas flicker fire,
she sifted soda with a scrimp
of salt into talc fine flour,
coaxed in milk soured
with a fist of lemon –
for want of buttermilk –
her warm hands cosseting
the dough into a farl,
blessing with the sign
of the cross and a shrug
to Our Lady on the mantel;
slices fried with rashers
for the flavour. And though
come the Saint’s day
she clipped shamrock
to the collar of her coat,
purple, a favour to her eyes,
each time she wet the pot, the curve
of its white spout was a heart stab
memory of swans gliding gracious
above the tarry Blackwater, a mere
stone’s toss from the graveyard
outside of Kells. Her heart
keening for the green of hills
lost, till I took her home, too late
for eyes never more to tear up
at the sight of mossy slopes
or the mizzle that guarded
through grey days.
PLUMS
I put words in a paper bag, hid
them in my pocket. Forgotten,
squished like plums,
they leaked, chastising
the skirt of my Mary dress
with the morbid stain of shame. Buried
at the bottom of the garden
the dog – almost –
dug them up. Hopes
and dreams, the
violet spectre
of a hug. When,
months later moving
as we always did
away, my parents
to another job, me
to yet another chalk
cheeked clique of nuns,
bully girls in chilly dorms,
priest in pulpit, words left
suffocating in the mole blind
dirt could offer little comfort. I gave
myself to arpeggios,
rallentandos, chords, spilt
tears onto the callous keys, adulated
birds and trees, sun scorch
crocus, inhaled melodies
and trills of hope.
Returned, grown,
to exhume words
conceived for rolling
on the tongue, to be
broadcast with blackbirds’
songs and never a need to hide.
KOALA
I had one as a child.
Just a toy, still,
fashioned
out of real fur,
you could make-believe
to clutch a panting life,
feed eucalyptus leaves
into a pink moist mouth.
Black nose, leather claws, eyes
glass, like the marbles
daddy as a lad
shuntered round granny’s yard.
A game he craved
to resurrect
about the kitchen
floor had mammy
not objected.
To crash
my measly
cache of Popeyes,
cats eyes,
beach balls
with the payback
of a copper-sparkled Lutz. Slate
beneath a grown man’s knees
atonement for the folly
of assuming
he could reach
back to reclaim such
smokescreen memories,
his arms too short
to restitute the child
snatched too soon
from his embrace.
I had one as a child.
Black nose, leather claws, eyes
glass that never wept.
Pratibha’s prize-winning pamphlet, Triptych of Birds and A Few Loose Feathers was published by Hedgehog Press in2020. The child of Irish Catholic immigrants, her writing appears in various publications and draws on her experiences growing up in 1950s England. Starting late, she graduated with a first-class honours degree in Creative Writing aged 61.
Beautifully crafted, moving. So enjoyed reading these. Thank you.